Posted in Uncategorized

Changes

It’s been a while since I’ve written on here. There’s been a lot of changes going on. I’ve been in a funk but I’ve slowly been getting out of it. I’ve been stuck in this funk for a while. But hopefully soon I’ll be posting a movie review. It’s a surprise. I’ve already watched the movie and it was a good one. 

Even though I’ve been in a funk I’ve still managed to stay on top of school work. I skipped two classes though because I was so depressed and was feeling psychotic. Mostly I’ve just been sleeping, but now it’s time to pick myself back up.

Blogging is something I enjoy so you’ll be hearing from me again sometime soon. I just haven’t been in the right mindset lately.

Goodnight everyone. Oh. And the workings of my mind part 2 will be coming out soon too.

Posted in Uncategorized

Anger

So recently I’ve started working on my anger. I have anger problems and I am known to lash out and say and do things that damage personal relationships. I am in therapy and my therapist gave me a book to read called Make Anger Your Ally by Neil Clark Warren. So far so good. I started an anger journal tonight which I got the idea from the book so the book is helping me. I also bought a DBT skills workbook by Matthew McKay that I’m also going to be working on with my therapist. Anger is a huge deal for me and I haven’t been taking care of it. I know my stress level is always high due to the mismanagement of my anger, it’s something I wasn’t dealing with. Being mad at the world all the time isn’t healthy for me. What I can tell you is that being angry all the time is draining and anger is something that is important to work on.

I know that my mental health will improve if I continue to work on my anger. This is an area that I’ve lacked. It’s an area that I never really truly worked on, and now that I am I am sensing some improvement. I mean, yes, I’ve worked on it a little bit, I haven’t laid hands on anyone in over two years BUT that’s not enough. I get angry outbursts, freak out on people and freak out in general, it’s not healthy. So the fact that I’m finally working on it is a huge deal, something I’m proud of.

I’ve been going to several people asking them how they manage their anger and it has given me hope that I too can learn to mange my anger. Coping skills are important. For those who have been in treatment centers you’ve probably heard the term. It’s applying it that’s hard, but it’s worth it.

Thank you for reading. Please like my facebook page. http://www.facebook.com/writings4theheart goodnight everyone!

Posted in The workings of my mind

The workings of my mind pt. 1

I feel like I haven’t posted on here for a while. I’ve been struggling with being tired 24/7. I’ve barely been able to function. I’ve been waking up in the mornings then falling back asleep. Then I wake up in the afternoons for the day. What is it that’s making me so tired? Stress? Maybe. I don’t entirely know. My meds got changed again but none of them make me tired again so I don’t know. Everything’s just exhausting right now.

My mental health is slowly starting to improve again. VERY slowly. Every once in a while I see shadow people and get paranoid and delusional. The intensity of my symptoms are very high most of the time. You can have a normal conversation with me then all of a sudden I get super paranoid. So maybe it’s not improving. It’s either getting a tiny bit better or a tiny bit worse. But I write this while I’m in a psychosis so it’s hard to distinguish. My mind isn’t right.

My mind is scattered. But that’s okay. Not all of my blog posts are going to be super positive. There’s a reason for that. The reason for that is that it wouldn’t be real. I’m always myself. I may be in a psychosis but giving up is NOT an option. The workings of my mind.

Posted in Book Review

Book Review #2

Words can’t express how much I disliked this book. The title should have said it all on how bad it was going to be. It didn’t take long for me to realize that it was going to be a terrible book but I wanted to give it a chance.

The poetry in this book flowed BUT I feel like the way this woman portrayed mental illness was completely disrespectful and ignorant. I do NOT recommend this book to anyone. I’m actually probably going to throw this book away because I don’t want it to be part of my collection. It was wasted money, that’s for sure.

People with mental illness aren’t crazy and I hate it when people say they are. We may struggle with different things than the average person does but it doesn’t make us crazy. Just because something happens that other people don’t understand and appear strange to some people, that doesn’t make us crazy. This book in my opinion was making it sound like mental illness is crazy. Then it proceeded to get worse throughout the whole book. Yes, she’s good at writing but this was not the way.

If there was a rating on 1-5 stars, 1 being the worst and 5 being the greatest, I would definitely give it a 1. It’s not worth reading and it gives people the wrong idea. She makes it sound like she cares about ending the stigma on mental illness but she basically reinforced the stigma. 5 thumbs down.

Reading this book upset me, I was hoping that in the book she would learn to accept her sister’s mental illness but she didn’t. It was very disappointing.